In the Gospel reading this week, Jesus taps into an ancient metaphor from the Hebrew scriptures. That of God as the shepherd and his people
I pictured Jesus with a smile on his face carrying a baby lamb over his shoulder with a large flock of sheep frolicking around him like golden retriever puppies. I had this sweet after-school-specialish view for many years until I had the opportunity to meet some sheep. I anticipated something endearing but was faced with the reality of sheep. They were quite dirty, with hair matted down in clumps. They were not frolicking like puppies at all but were rather completely terrified animals. They seemed to vacillate between being frozen in fear or running for their lives. They certainly have no natural defense. They are not strong or particularly fast. It’s easy to see why predators view them as walking sandwiches. And after just a few minutes of observation, it was clear that they are not the sharpest tools in the animal kingdom shed. I believe they have the intelligence quotient of a potato bug. So… I see the reality of sheep and reflect on Jesus referring to us as sheep and now I am a bit insulted. Then I remembered that Jesus says that his love is so great for these sheep; he willingly lays down his life for them. These sheep? Really? This seems confusing and irrational. Perhaps he is the irrational shepherd instead of the good shepherd?
But after further exploration and meditation it hit me. The coins dropped on a deeper meaning of what is happening here. Jesus is calling us to an entirely different view of life and of God and of self. He is calling us to let go of our current view of reality and open up to look at life through a new lens. I realized that this love of the good shepherd is not irrational… it is trans-rational. It is a love that transcends our current rational categories and calls us to see a new reality through the eyes of Jesus. Through his eyes, the value of the sheep is not determined by strength, intelligence, beauty, or utility. Their value is determined by one simple, immutable truth… he loves them. He loves them. He loves us. And there is nothing we can do to make that love any greater or any less. He loves us with his infinite God heart and this love is so great, he willingly lays down his life for us.
This trans-rational reality is what Jesus called the
When someone asked the great contemplative Thomas Merton the existential question, “Who are you?” Merton responded, “Who am I? I am one loved by
This transformative, identity-establishing love of Jesus reminded me of Harry Potter. Now, if you are not a Harry Potter fan, I am not judging you, but I encourage you to rethink your position.
The story begins when Harry is just 11 years old. He is living with the Dursleys, an abusive family who force him to sleep in the tiny crawl space beneath the stairs. This cruel family and their bully son invent ways to oppress Harry and convince him he is worthless. What Harry does not know is that he is the most famous wizard in the world… who as a baby defeated an evil wizard bent on enslaving the world. In fact, he is worth so much that his mother willingly laid down her life to protect him. But all of this is unknown to young Harry.
On Harry’s 11th birthday some strange things start happening. A letter is received inviting Harry to the wizarding school Hogwarts. But the Dursleys are committed to preventing Harry from learning of his true identity and hide all the other letters that come. These letters start arriving literally by the thousands and the Dursleys force everyone into a boat and out to a lonely island in the middle of the sea. In this desolate place, convinced that they have prevented Harry from learning who he is… they begin to relax. Then, to their great surprise, in the late hours of the night, there is a knocking at the door that grows louder and louder. When they do not answer, the door bursts open flying off its hinges and there stands Hagrid… a gentle giant happily beaming at Harry. With birthday cake in hand (the first gift Harry has ever received), Hagrid goes on to explain to Harry that he is, in fact, a famous wizard, a beloved son, and is invited on a grand adventure… to begin his studies at Hogwarts to discover his true calling in life.
Now I don’t know where you are on your spiritual journey. Some of you may be locked in a crawl space under the stairway or others well on your way at Hogwarts, but in either case, the great shepherd is here, knocking on the door of your heart and mind… with a door bursting passion and gift in hand he is inviting you to hear your true identity. You are his beloved… the apple of his eye… and He simply cannot get enough of you. He dreamed you up and crafted you uniquely to reflect his love like no one else in all creation. He is inviting the real you to wade out to transform this world with his love.
In line with the journey of self-discovery, the wonderfully raw and honest Annie Dillard describes the moment she realized her true self. She wrote, “I had been my whole life a bell, and I never knew it until at that moment I was lifted and struck.” The ring of her life still reverberates around the world. So this trans-rational love of Jesus is not sentimentality… it is the power for true transformation, healing and freedom It is the energy source to wade out into this world with the healing… his healing compassion.
But for many of us, it is difficult to believe that we are truly loved this much. Our fears and insecurities create a barrier to receiving this kind of passionate declaration. And this self-condemnation is not just within those with techni-color struggles and issues. In fact, over the years as I have met with folks for pastoral care and spiritual direction, I have found that it is often the most successful people who carry the deepest insecurities, including the CEO and the doctor and beautiful palates instructor.
So whether your resume says CFO or GED, we can have a difficult time truly hearing and believing his love. But the good news is that the good shepherd is relentless in his pursuit of us. This reminds me of the famous book written by Cervantes in the early 17th century. In Don Quiote, we are introduced to a unique man, who in his mind, lived in the time of knights and honor and chivalry. Instead of a swayback nag he saw a valiant war horse. Instead of a boring windmill, he saw a giant to conquer; and instead of a washed up old man, he saw a noble squire to accompany him on his quests. It was through this lens that he viewed the world and worked to make it a better place, a just place, a beautiful place.
The heart of the story was turned into a musical called The Man of La Mancha and focuses on the love story central to Don Quixote’s life. We meet the woman Aldonsa who spends her time in a local prison. She is a woman in pain with no self-respect who has slept with almost everyone in the prison either for money or for pleasure. Then Don Quixote walks into her life. He sees her and is utterly undone by her beauty. He enters her life to befriend her and woo her by bringing into her life a sense of dignity, worth, and purpose. She is disgusted by him and consistently rebuffs him. He responds by further pursuit and begins to call her by the Latin name Dulcinea, (dul-che-knee-ya) meaning my sweet little one, and calling her “My Lady” to give her aristocratic substance. Listen to his description of her, “Her name is Dulcinea, her country El Toboso, a village of La Mancha, her rank must be at least that of a princess, since she is my queen and lady, and her beauty superhuman, since all the impossible and fanciful attributes of beauty which the poets apply to their ladies are verified in her; for her hairs are gold, her forehead Elysian fields, her eyebrows rainbows, her eyes suns, her lips coral, her hands ivory, her fairness snow, and what modesty conceals from sight such, I think and imagine, as rational reflection can only extol, not compare.”
One day, as he cries out to her, “Dulcinea, My Lady!,” she has had enough. She storms up to him and tries to scream out a once and for all explanation of herself to end all of this. She describes herself from a broken home of abuse, that most of her time is spent on her back. She describes herself as nothing but a kitchen prostitute that men use and discard. She has been so hurt, made so bitter in the face of suffering, that she cries out for him to leave her alone because, in her words, “Blows and abuse I can take and give back again, but tenderness I cannot bear.” The final line of her tirade is, “I’m just a whore.”
And how does Don Quixote respond? He simply continues to pursue her, again, and again, and again. Despite all she has said and is doing, he sees her inner beauty, what is good and true in her. The most powerful moment occurs in the musical when the love of Don Quixote has finally broken through to Aldonsa… she walks onto the street and proudly announces to everyone, “From this day forward, my name is no longer Aldonsa. I am Dulcinea.”
No matter what you have done, no matter the shame or fear or insecurity, the good shepherd persistently pursues you telling you of your true identity. He longs to free you from facades, from fear, from shame, and allow his love to define you. And in this time, as we prepare for the Eucharist, we remember that the good shepherd did indeed lay down his life for us. And I pray, that like Aldonsa, we will open our own hearts to him in a new way, and allow our value and identity to be defined by one immutable truth… he loves us. Amen.
This past Easter Sunday, for those who were not here, I was trying to make the point that resurrection is not just a theological doctrine or a religious belief. Resurrection is a spiritual practice. As Christians, we are called to practice resurrection. On Easter Day I suggested that we practice resurrection by spreading defiant hope and by expressing defiant joy. Today I want to go a little deeper with this, drawing on an image or really a pattern that Jesus repeats a number of times in today’s gospel reading. I want to suggest that one practices resurrection by entering into this pattern of which Jesus speaks - by laying down one’s life, in order to take it up again. Jesus says, “The good shepherd lays down his life for the sheep.” What does this mean; and specifically what does it mean for us? Well, while it is true that the shepherd in Jesus’ time and in parts of the world today may be called upon to risk life itself for the sheep - and Jesus, of course, did indeed literally lay down his life on the cross - I believe he is revealing to us not just a pattern for dying but, much more, a pattern for living.
Our first reading, from the Epistle of John, uses the very same expression: “he laid down his life for us - and we ought to lay down our lives for one another.” In the Epistle, however, it is very clear that John is not talking about being killed, he is talking about being truly alive. What he is talking about is loving one another. “We know love by this, that he laid down his life for us...we should....love one another.” The Greek word translated “lay down” is tithenai, which is actually a rather colorless word which means simply to lay aside, to set aside, to put down. And while this word tithenai certainly can be understood as pointing to a climax in history of a physical death, it is probably closer to the mark to translate it: to lay aside one’s self. And so, it might more accurately mean, looking into the heart of the good shepherd, Jesus, that he lays aside his small ego self for the sake of the sheep, and seeking their well-being rather than his own, he receives from the Father his True Self. On behalf of the sheep, he lets go of the small “I” and, in its place, receives the great “I AM” of the Divine Presence within. (Stephen Verney)
“I lay down my life, that I may take it up again.” Here Jesus is repeating the pattern which is at the very heart of all true Christian spiritual living. And throughout the gospels he says the very same thing over and over again in a variety of different ways. Remember? “Those who try to save their life, to hold onto their life, will lose it; but those who lose their life, who let go of their life, for my sake will save it.” “I lay down my life, that I may take it up again.” Here, I think Jesus is inviting us to discover a wonderful and sacred mystery. We discover that when we truly give of ourselves in love, then that life and energy and love that we have given are returned back to us in a new and even more wonderful way. We discover that in giving it away in love, we receive it back transformed. And in doing so, we are re-energized, we are re-newed, we are resurrected.
When Jesus says, “I lay down my life,” it may help to know that the Greek word translated here as “life” is the word “psyche.” Now this word psyche can mean several things. It can be translated as life, or self or soul. But what is most interesting is that the word “psyche” is also the Greek word for butterfly. That same word translated in the New Testament as your “life” is also the word for “butterfly.” Let me read from Bullfinch’s Mythology. “The Greek name for a butterfly is Psyche, and the same word means the soul. There is no illustration of the immortality of the soul so striking and beautiful as the butterfly, bursting on brilliant wings from the tomb in which it has lain, after a dull, groveling caterpillar existence, to flutter in the blaze of day and feed on the most fragrant and delicate productions of the spring. Psyche, then, is the human soul, which is purified by suffering and love, and is thus prepared for the enjoyment of true happiness.”
So, whenever Jesus speaks of losing your ”life” in order to find it, and of laying down one’s “life” that one may take it up again, I want you to remember the butterfly. Remember that the caterpillar “lays down” its drab, colorless, one-dimensional, earthbound life that it may take that life up again, but now transformed into the glorious colors and majestic beauty of the butterfly. I believe that this is the invitation of the Gospel, and this is what God intends for your life - that in laying down your life, giving your self in love, you may truly and finally show forth the glorious colors and majestic beauty of your soul - that butterfly hidden within - that you may truly and finally show forth the glory of the image of God within you.
Now, I do have to confess that one of my main goals for this sermon was to avoid having to talk about sheep, about which I know absolutely nothing. But I do know a little bit about the butterfly - the psyche. And I wonder if, in the stages of the butterfly’s life, we might better recognize this spiritual path to which Jesus is calling us.
I remember, many years ago as a Divinity School student, when I lived in a little house by myself out in the country, being horrified one day to see these long, fuzzy black creatures with orange bodies completely covering my porch - ugly and I thought probably poisonous caterpillars. Their presence made me cringe in disgust as they squiggled all over the place. Squeezing their way under the windows and doorframe of my house, it was like an invasion. I called a friend to ask for advice. How could I get rid of these gross, hairy, squirming creatures? Her response was to ask if she could collect some of them for herself in a jar. “You want them? Why would you want such ugly insects?” I asked. She replied, “Because one day they are going to turn into beautiful butterflies and I love to watch them fly.” Despite my theological training, in my disgust and fear, I had forgotten nature’s process that transforms an ugly caterpillar into a beautiful butterfly. Shortly thereafter, this friend took me to visit a butterfly garden. Encircled by hundreds of multi-colored butterflies, I noticed that each one was uniquely and spectacularly beautiful. They fluttered over our heads, pollinating the flowers and drinking their nectar. Their glorious presence spread joy throughout the garden and lifted our spirits. Watching them, it was difficult to imagine that these magnificent creatures began their life as ugly caterpillars crawling on their bellies and eating leaves.1
I think perhaps God uses the butterfly to confirm in us God’s desire for us and for all human beings to experience the transformation and freedom that only God’s love can bring. God does not intend for us to live like caterpillars - narrow, self-centered, dull, earth-bound lives, constricted and oppressed by fear, anxiety, shame and self-rejection. God intends for us to practice resurrection, to know our true identity in Christ, to live our lives abundantly, and to reflect the glory of the divine image within us. Now, just as the transformation from caterpillar to butterfly can be a long, sometimes painful process, so it can be for us. However, Jesus promises that when his resurrection life comes fully alive in us, we become, in the words of the Apostle Paul, “a new creation. The old has passed away; behold, the new has come.” But first, we must lay down our life, that we may take it up again. Not unlike the life cycle of the butterfly.
Stage 1: The Egg.1 A small embryo develops inside the egg. Each egg varies in size, shape, pattern and color; but each egg carries within it the unique characteristics of the particular species of butterfly it is destined to become. Once mature, the shell will be pierced and the caterpillar will emerge from the egg - but the glory of the butterfly is in the egg from the very beginning. As God said to the prophet Jeremiah, “Before I formed you in the womb, I knew you, and before you were born, I consecrated you and called you to a divine purpose.” The same is true for you and for me. God has created each and every one of us as a unique reflection of the divine image. Each of us is loved beyond measure and called to fulfill a divine purpose that exists only for us.
Stage 2: The Caterpillar. This is a necessary and vital stage in the life-cycle of the butterfly and when most of its growth occurs. During this stage, the caterpillar has one purpose: to consume as much food as possible and to survive. During this stage, the crawling caterpillar is quite vulnerable to predators and it protects itself by camouflaging itself and blending in with its surroundings. This is a wonderful metaphor for how many people in our own society live and a metaphor for what many people think “life” is all about - consuming as much as possible, being consumers, and protecting ourselves by blending in with our surroundings, just doing what everybody else seems to be doing. But there is something in us that knows - something in us that knows that there is more to life than being a caterpillar. It is this “something in us” that recognizes Jesus. And it is to this “something in us” that Jesus is speaking when he invites us to lay down our life, our psyche, that we may take it up again. I love the way Mary Oliver puts it toward the end of one of her poems. “For years and years I struggled just to love my life...And then the butterfly rose, weightless, in the wind. ‘Don’t love your life too much,’ it said, and vanished into the world.” “For years and years I struggled just to love my life.” This is the endless struggle of the caterpillar. And “then the butterfly rose, weightless, in the wind. ‘Don’t love your life too much,’ it said.” Because our soul, that butterfly within us, knows that God’s intention for our life is so much more.
Stage 3: The Transformation. The caterpillar lays down its life as a slow, dull, earth-bound consumer in order to realize this higher possibility. The active caterpillar surrenders its ability to crawl and to feed, for a time, and enters the dark chrysalis where the transformation takes place. A metaphor I think, for our own journey of faith. And inside the chrysalis new cells begin to appear. These new cells are called imaginal cells and these imaginal cells resonate at a completely different frequency. It is a wonderful metaphor for the way in which the risen life of Christ within us begins in us a process of transformation. Through prayer, worship, love and service, through literally taking his body and blood into us, the cells of the Body of Christ begin to interpenetrate with the cells of our own body, and the process of transformation begins to take place. Inside the chrysalis these imaginal cells resonate at a completely different frequency. They are so different from the caterpillar cells that the caterpillar’s immune system thinks they are enemies and tries to gobble them up. But these new imaginal cells continue to appear, multiply and grow, more and more of them. And then an amazing thing happens! These imaginal cells start to clump together, resonating together at the same frequency. Then those clumps of imaginal cells begin to cluster together. A long string of clumping and clustering imaginal cells, all resonating at the same frequency, all passing information along from one to another there inside the chrysalis. A wave of Good News travels throughout the system, the chrysalis lurches and heaves, and that long string of imaginal cells suddenly realizes all together that it is now something different from the caterpillar! Something new! Something wonderful!
Stage 4: The Butterfly emerges to take flight into beauty and grace, finally manifesting the glorious colors and majestic beauty that God has intended from the beginning. As one contemporary writer put it, “What the caterpillar calls the end of the world, the Master calls a butterfly.” We have laid down our life, that we may take it up again in Christ. For, “if anyone is in Christ,” says St. Paul, “they are a new creation. The old has passed away. Behold, the new has come.”
I want to close with a little piece by Carol Pearson, who suggests that this process of transformation is happening not just within us as individuals on a spiritual path, it is now happening on a global scale involving the whole human species - and we are part of it. Her title is, “The End of the World or the Butterfly?”2
I sat reading in my garden, hoping the few last flowers would soften the stories in my newspaper: stories of war, famine, drought, disease, economic collapse, the dark promises of history. A voice said, “choose a different promise.” I looked around. Nothing moved but a butterfly, and I know butterflies can’t talk. “Of course we can’t,” said the butterfly, all shades of gold, landing on a nearby leaf. “But your soul can. ‘Soul’ and ‘butterfly’ are the same word in Greek. Look at me and listen to your soul.”
“Okay,” I said, “what’s the promise?” “Your past is the caterpillar, your future is the butterfly.” “Mine?” “All of you. The world.” “How so?” “When I was a worm, I thought as a worm, and I gorged myself, eating everything in sight, leaving a path of destruction, getting fatter and fatter.” “We humans have been doing that for sure,” I said. The butterfly continued, “Then I went into my chrysalis stage - darkness, destruction, everything falling apart.” “Us too!” I slapped the newspaper. “War, famine, plague, banks going broke!” “My caterpillar self thought it was the end of the world.” “The end of the world,” I nodded. “Yes, that’s what it feels like.” “But what the caterpillar calls the end of the world, the Master calls a butterfly.” “Wow, that’s really nice,” I said. “I didn’t make it up. One of you did. One of your imaginal cells.” “Our - what cells?”
“Listen carefully,” said the butterfly. “When the breakdown inside the chrysalis is almost finished and the caterpillar is turning to ooze, an amazing process begins. The genetic code shifts. Special cells - brand new cells - seem to come out of nowhere. Scientists call them imaginal cells.” “Do they imagine?” I asked. “They do imagine. They hold the vision of a new creature. The old cells see these new ones as enemies and try to kill them.” “Like we kill our visionaries - Jesus - Gandhi - Martin Luther King, Jr. ..?” “Very much like Jesus. The old cells are frightened and want to maintain the old caterpillar order. But their day is done. New imaginal cells keep popping up inside the chrysalis - here, there and everywhere. Each holds a piece of the new vision, the new creation. And they begin to communicate. And when there are enough of them, when there’s a kind of ‘tipping point,’ all the imaginal cells unite into a grand butterfly design. Each cell gives its small vision into the large vision - and a new thing is born. The butterfly!”
I studied the gorgeous creature on the leaf before me. Impossibly beautiful, iridescent, magical. “We - can do that?” I asked, nearly breathless. “It is already in process, now.” “But everything I see ...” I pointed again to the newspaper. “Don’t believe everything you see. Old caterpillar cells terrified of their end. Don’t fight them. Outshine them.” “How do I become one of those imaginal cells?” I asked. “You choose to.” “But what must I do. Isn’t there, like, a checklist or something?” “Go inside your own being and listen. You will hear something like this - Love your neighbor as yourself... Do unto others as you would have them do to you... Do not live in fear, choose love even when you are afraid... Feed the hungry... Love your enemies... Find the gift you came to give this world and give it confidently... Practice resurrection... Imagine the world as God intends it to be... Imagine the butterfly breaking free from the chrysalis... Imagine flight... Like this ...”
The butterfly lifted her wings, fluttered friendly for a moment, then vanished. “Wait!” I said. “I’m not ready.” “I’m still here.” The voice was now within me. Ah, butterfly and soul, the same. “I am always with you, “ said the voice.
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1. Adapted from Love Unveiled ministry.
2. Adapted and paraphrased from “The End of the World or the Butterfly?”